One of the greatest honors of my life is being an older sister.

Twenty years ago, my family traveled from our little town in Eastern Pennsylvania to China.

No, we weren't going on an exciting vacation to check out the interesting sites. My parents and I were heading out to a completely different continent for something more...to find the final piece to complete our family.

My younger sister Laura is adopted from China, and on January 19th my entire family celebrated the anniversary of her completing our family.

We like to call it her Gotcha Day!

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Celebrating 20 Years Since Adopting My Sister

For many months, my mom and dad went through the arduous process of adopting a child. My parents were a bit older when they had me, so there was a very small chance of them having another biological child.

So, they decided that they were going to go the route of many other families in the United States.

One in twenty-five families in the United States with children have adopted, according to a report from the Adoption Network.

I was only six when this all happened, so many of the details are just a bit blurry when I think back on this trip. However, there are very specific moments that stick out in my mind when I think back to January 2005.

I remember carrying around a little video camera so I could capture our journey to Asia. One day, I hope to find those tapes of the trip and look back at those videos and re-watch the first moments when my sister, Laura became a part of our family.

I remember us traveling all across China. We traveled through multiple different provinces over the course of this two week journey. Going from the busy airport in Hong Kong to a gorgeous hotel in Guangzhou.

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I remember in a different hotel we stayed at during that trip, wheeling around Laura in her carriage and telling other guests who probably didn't speak English that this tiny human in the stroller was my sister.

But one of the clearest memories I have is from the day we got her.

All of the families in our adoption group were sitting in this hotel ballroom, getting ready to meet the babies. Sitting at the hotel bar was a caretaker from the orphanage with my future little sister in her arms.

All of the children were in these adorable little lion jackets, with the lion's mane acting as the hood. When Laura was brought over to us, I remember looking up at my parents and seeing their eyes light up at this little stranger.

We all somehow knew she was the missing piece to complete our family.

Over the course of the next twenty years, my sister and I developed an incredibly strong bond. At family functions we have always tended to stick by each other's side.

A Little Bit About Laura

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My sister Laura is currently a college senior living in Philadelphia, PA. She is pursuing a career in French education.

THAT'S RIGHT! My little baby sister is going to change the world and educate the next generation.

She is passionate about dancing, K-pop, musical theater (that interest is because of me thank you very much), and learning different languages.

Laura is actually fluent in French (even though she says she isn't, which is a total lie but whatever), knows some Korean and German.

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During every semester of college so far, she made the Dean's List. Our family is so incredibly proud of not only everything she has accomplished but the great human she has turned out to be.

AND she loves our family cat Link as if he were her own human child.

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Laura also just so happens to be one of the funniest human beings to ever exist.

Normally I would say that this is just my opinion, but it's actually a fact so there's no arguing there.

However, it's not her humor or her high GPA that makes me the most proud of her. No matter what she achieves in her life, it won't change just how much I respect and love her.

It's her abiding drive to make other people's lives better which is at the core of who she is.

She wanted to pursue teaching partly because of her love for the French language and culture, and partly because she wants to meet students where they are and help them in any way she can.

How an Adopted Sibling Relationship Differs from a Biological One

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We look at some siblings who are biologically related and know that, while we share no DNA, our bond is stronger than theirs. Having a sibling doesn't magically give you a built-in best friend, it's work.

You have to communicate and respect the other sibling no matter what. A strong bond is never a given. The fact that Laura and I grew more honest with each other as we grew up and matured is what has cemented our relationship.

Things weren't always perfect though.

So, We Need to Talk About Race For A Hot Second

There would be racist comments made of course. We grew up in a rural part of Pennsylvania where the majority of people looked like me and not my sister. People were mostly kind, but ignorance would occasionally creep in.

Racism is not always ill-intentioned; sometimes it comes from people who are well-meaning. My sister would share stories of people asking her if she spoke Chinese even though she was adopted when she was a baby. Again, not necessarily mean spirited, but it did get frustrating sometimes.

Others would make assumptions that she was really good at math, when at best she was average.

Laura, if you're reading this, I love you but it's true. 

She did get better grades than me in the subject, but that's only because I'm absolute garbage at math, so it's not really saying anything.

And some would say things that I cannot even write down on this page.

It's embarrassing to admit sometimes, but even I had to learn some hard truths about myself and racism too. I continue to learn every single day.

Growing up I believed that I "didn't see color."

I thought it didn't matter what my sister's race was, she's my sister and that is all that matters. In my mind, that's all that NEEDED to matter.

But I missed out on TRULY knowing her earlier through this mentality. To understand someone completely, and recognize their differences is to truly love them.

No one can completely know someone, but we can strive every single day to know them just a bit better than we did yesterday. And I think that is the greatest lesson I took away over the past twenty years.

There is some controversy surrounding this idea of a "color blind" society at the moment. Dare I say it's unfortunately political.

This concept of not acknowledging people's differences and history is dangerous. Not only does it take away a part of someone's story, but it also makes us miss out on learning about another culture.

Why do we have to force everyone to be like us when someone being themselves enriches everyone's lives?

If we refuse to recognize someone's differences, we can never truly know them.

I didn't truly understand all the struggles or frustrations that Laura faced navigating this society until I recognized that there are clear differences that I cannot fathom because I haven't lived them.

Final Thoughts on Adoption After Two Decades With My Sister

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I've always been confused by people who refer to Laura as my "adopted sister."

She's the only sister I have. There's no other descriptor I need.

Laura is my sister. THAT is the whole phrase.

Even after twenty years as sisters, I am thankful every day that someone, somewhere chose for us to be a family.

Being Laura's older sister is the greatest honor and privilege of my life. I'll never forget that.

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