In this Iowa moron story, it should be noted that I am the Iowa moron. I broke a sacred birthday tradition and I kind of feel guilty about it.

On December 5, I will turn 32 years old. Nothing to get too excited about but you do only get one birthday a year so I'm looking forward to enjoying the day. Normally on your birthday everyone is really nice to you, your friends buy you a beer, and people wish you a happy birthday. The one problem with this year is...I might've broken a sacred birthday rule. It's not that big of a deal but it's something I have to get off my chest.

Unsplash - Adi Goldstein
Unsplash - Adi Goldstein

I have a younger sister whose birthday is really close to mine. She was born on December 1st, which would make this past Thursday her birthday. I'm telling you that because, on my younger sister's birthday, I opened one of my birthdays presents from my fiance.

When you were younger, maybe between the ages of 4-7, did your parents ever get you or one of your siblings a present on someone else's birthday, just so that person wouldn't feel bad? Mine didn't either, but I do know kids who grew up like that. It was never a big giant gift but just a little something so they didn't feel left out. Sadly, I did that myself yesterday.

Before you start thinking about how immature I am, I need you to hear me out. I have wanted to buy these new shoes for over a month. I've needed a new pair for a while now and was going to go ahead and just buy them for myself. My fiance told me not to buy them so she would have something to get me on my birthday.

They arrived in the mail yesterday and it was pretty obvious what was in the package. So I went ahead and opened it after I was told it was okay. These are pretty cool if I do say so myself.


Tonight (12-2-2022) there is a company Christmas party and I wanted to be able to wear my new shoes at the party. What can I say, I wanted to have something new and cool to show off at dinner. The only problem is I'm starting to feel like I cheated the system a little bit.

Should I have waited until my actual birthday to open the present? There is one more gift I will be able to open on my birthday, so it's not like I won't have anything to get excited about but I feel like I broke a birthday tradition. Not only that but I opened up one of my gifts on my younger sister's birthday.

Talk about being a terrible older brother. Without certain rules and regulations, what separates us from the animals? I broke a birthday rule and I am ashamed. I should know better at 32 years old.

Now That That's Over

Now that we talked about it, I feel a lot better. I'm glad I had you to open up to about this guilty feeling. Talking to you was just the therapy session I needed. You can bet your a** I'll be wearing those shoes all weekend, loudly and proudly.

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